30 Was Not That Bad

Thank you to everyone who made my 30th birthday so wonderful! I had a lot fun and was so glad to see everyone at my party. Colin, my nephew, had to be the best birthday surprise though!(closely followed by the cannoli cake!) I have never been that surprised before. It was a weird feeling, everyone looking at you. I cannot believe that you all kept the secret. I am very nosey and ask a lot of questions - yet no one spilled the beans! Rachel, you are the best sister! Thank you so much for this wonderful day!



On Monday, my actual b-day, I took off with no real plans. My friend Sarah planned a fun-filled day with the help of Rachel and Amanda. I was told to dress up, I bought a new dress and had no occasion to wear it to so Sarah thought she would make one for me. We went for Pedicures and then they blindfolded me, made me wear a flashing crown and took me to.......Chuckie Cheese! It was so much fun. We must of looked like fools! Afterwards we went to the new casino - nothing like Vegas baby! Then we played mini golf.

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! It was so great to feel loved:)

Here's to Good Times!

I have had one of the best weeks! I have spent a lot of time with a lot of my good friends. I loved Thursday night the most! Singing and being myself - crazy! I think I found a good outlet for stressfull days - singing! Tonight I sang with Jason. Yes he actually sang! On Wednesday I left work an hour early on the spur of the moment and met Sarah for an afternoon of what turned out to be bad shopping, good ice cream and a REALLY bad movie! It was a great afternoon though. Then Jason and I met Amanda for wing night where I had the best wings ever - SOB wings. It is bar-b-que, mild and garlic all together. I spent time with Rachel - I like it when it is nice out because we can met in the back yard and just talk. Anyways, just wanted to thank everyone for a good week! I am going to miss you all this weekend as I do my homework! I cannot wait until school is over.

Michelle

I am reading a book - yes I am reading!- by Leo Buscaglia called Living Loving & Learning. My sociology teacher showed a seminar of his and I loved it. He was so enthusiastic and real. I have to admit though I am getting extra credit for this book if I can read it and write a report on it by April 15th but I am really excited about the book. He speaks of life and how to love yourself and give that love then to others. I have only read 30 pages so far, but my mind is filled with his words. He believes in teachers being guides, he was a special education teacher & administrator and also a college professor in the 1970's. This book is a compulation on his seminars throughout the 70's. I would of loved to have been at one. Just seeing the tape and how crazy he was - I wish he was my professor now! In this book he quotes a poem by a girl named Michelle. He found it in the City Lights Book Store in San Francisco. This store has a section that anyone can have a book for sale. It can be handwritten or photocopied and stapled together, it doesn't matter. I really liked the poem and would like to share it with everyone:

My Happiness is me, not you.
Not only because you may be temporary,
But also because you want me to be what I am not.
I cannot be happy when I change
Merley to satisfy your selfishness.
Nor can I feel content when you critize me for not
thinking your thoughts,
Or for seeing like you do.
You call me a rebel.
And yet each time I have rejected your beliefs
You have rebelled against mine.
I do not try to mold your mind.
I know you are trying hard enough to be just you.
And I cannot allow you to tell me what to be -
For I am concentrating on being me.
You said that I was transparent
And easily forgotten.
But why then did you try to use my lifetime,
To prove to yourself who you are?

The forward in the begining of this collection of poems stated that Michelle was only 20 when she passed and someone displayed her poems where they thought she would of wanted them to be. It states "She found it to hard to be 'just me'"The collection was called, I Am Neither A Sacrilege Or A Privilege. I May Not Be Competent or Excellent, But I Am Present.

I have no idea if this book store is still open or selling unpublished books, but I would love to go to San Francisco to see it if it still is.